Love while you can and cherish your life

I was sitting at the office space where I work when something dawned on me, I've had this job for three years now!

Back in 2011 I was a 17 years old girl wanting money when my mother suggested that I should apply to a job where she worked, which was a home for the physically and mentally disabled adults. The job wasn't anything out of the ordanary for a 17 years old, just cleaning. So that's what I did. One morning I woke up early, got on a bus to get to my job interview. I don't think that I have ever been that nervous but thankfully the Boss-Lady was very nice and I ended up with the job. From june to August I cleaned every Monday to Thursday (Not as much fun as you might think during the hottest time of the year) and as school start was getting closer I thought that I'd had to find myself a new job.

WELL THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! The Boss-Lady came up to me one day -as I was cleaning and sweating as a sexy little beast- and told me to come to her office. Naturally I thought that I had done something dumb, stupid or anything else that I could get in trouble for, but no. She told me that she liked having me and was wondering if I wanted to start working as a "nurse" instead as the cleaning "lady" As she explained what that would mean and what I'd have to do if i were to take her up on her offer. Quite frankly I did not take me long to say yes. I loved the people that I worked with and the people who lived there and leaving was not an appealing idea.

As school started, so did my "new" job. I just need to tell you something about me before I go on: this was never a job that seemed appealing to me - at all. I have never been the kind of person to change diapers and feed kids, so doing that on adults was not something that I'd every think I would get paid for. I have 3 younger siblings and I NEVER changed a dirty diaper on the two (one is only a year younger on me, so I definitely did not change hers). So to me and my family taking this job was completely out of character, but I so grateful that I did it.

In the past three years I have learned so much about myself and what I can do. I have seen someone greving the loss of a loved one, sitting inconsolable and I have seen genuine happiness in someones face, the kind of happiness that makes you smile all day just thinking about it.Helping people who can't help themselves has changed my perspective and outlook on life and I'm more grateful for the things I get to do just because I'm me and I'm healthy. My experiences here are something I will always and forever cherish and carry with me as my life countinues and new experiences come.

It hurts me to think that this summer will me my last summer here and that I have to say goodbye to the people who have had such a huge impact on my life. I know that I will see them all again when I visit but it won't be that same. I can only hope that I can find such a fantasic work envionment again and that you can do the same, and hopefully some of you have had the pleasure of having the same feeling has I've had going to work. I think it's rare to find something that you can truly and honestly find joy in doing and that can help you grow as an individual,but it is not impossible and not a "one-time-thing".

This might have sounded a bit cheesy, but it is all true.

Until next time, Love CJ

Little Sleep, Lots of coffee & Red Bull

This is not a post about love or how to keep your boyfriend, but how I keep myself from crashing in these times of stress. What I mean by keeping the interest alive is where/what you can focus on to keep yourself going. Maybe you have a dream that you'd really like to come true?

The month of May cannot come soon enough at this point. Right now it's 3.50 AM and the only reason I'm still up is because I have a midterm and a group project and a presentation all due in two days (well, technically one it's Tuesday early - early- morning) and it feels like he stress might take my life at this point. (not that it will!!!). Yes, I'm over exaggerating! But if you are like me and you like to have as much control over your days as possible, I'm sure you have felt the same way at some point in time.  (I wrote this on Tuesday morning!)

I have "lived" at school for the past few days. Staying there from 4 pm to 3 am, trying to get as much done as possible. Now I can't sleep before 3am and I wake up around noon. I can't wait for this to be over so I can get back to a normal sleep schedule.

Only three weeks left until Finals!!

Until next time, Love CJ

Homesickness and to whom it may concern

I have never lived abroad, stayed abroad for more then 3 weeks or lived more then 3 hours away from home. How will it be to live 5000 miles away?

I have no experience with living abroad. Most of the people at my school as taken an exchange year in high school while I was sitting in my room, in my home town. The closest I have ever been to "living abroad" was visiting my Grandmother in Turkey alone when I was 17. I have days where all I can think about is how much I want to go home. I miss knowing every street name, where every corner leads to a familiar place. I know where people live and what the name of the cashier is. This feeling of homesickness is unfamiliar and I don't know how to react to it.

Not only do I miss the comfort of knowing my surroundings, but I miss how people are there. They act so different here and the way they treat others.. I just don't like it. Just because they are from a different part of the country they are - apparently/according to them- better then me or the others who are from my parts of the country. I wonder why this is? What is it that makes you more intelligent then me? they way you speak, the way you dress? What is it? to me you are not better nor are you less then me. I even wonder why you care about that? It's not like is makes a huge difference in you daily life.

I don't like the way you think of me or the community I come from. I feel that I have to defend who I am and why I believe and act the way I do. so why don't you? Sometimes I feel attacked and all I want to do is to tell you to leave me alone and never open you judgemental mouth to me again. But I don't. All I do is fake a smile and move on with my life. In just a few months I'll be far away form you and then all of you judgemental and rude comments will be gone. You won't see this and that is just fine. I don't want you to.

Love CJ

You have some, you loose some

I still keep in touch with some friends from 1th grade but it seems like the older I get the harder it is to keep friendships. 

For the last few months I've been think a lot about what sorts of friends that I have, and the kinds that I'd like to keep.  I've meet so many people this past year that I like to hang out with, but I know that I'll never talk to them again after we all leave for the US. And to be completely honest, I don't know if I want to keep in touch with some of these people. It's not like we know each other that well, and we don't have all that much in common either. It seems like - to me - that the only reason we are "friends" is because we go to the same school, live copse to each other and hang out in the same places. If we had meet at the same time, but under different circumstances I really don't think we'd ever hit it off.
On the other hand, I've met some people that has helped me see thing in a different light. They have given me new perspectives on things. I've been exposed to different culturural aspects of my own country, and I find it very interesting that it is so different considering this country really isn't that big.

but then there are the friends that you love and cherish 

we all have them, or a least one of them. I know I do, and I can't imagine life without them! These are the people you go to with everything, you tell them your dark little secrets. I went on vacation with one of mine and I have never had so much fun! Some I've know for 15 years and other 5 years, but I love and care for them equally. They have kept me sane in times of struggle and confusion.

I hope you have a "person" in your life too.

Until next time, Love CJ