Homesickness and to whom it may concern

I have never lived abroad, stayed abroad for more then 3 weeks or lived more then 3 hours away from home. How will it be to live 5000 miles away?

I have no experience with living abroad. Most of the people at my school as taken an exchange year in high school while I was sitting in my room, in my home town. The closest I have ever been to "living abroad" was visiting my Grandmother in Turkey alone when I was 17. I have days where all I can think about is how much I want to go home. I miss knowing every street name, where every corner leads to a familiar place. I know where people live and what the name of the cashier is. This feeling of homesickness is unfamiliar and I don't know how to react to it.

Not only do I miss the comfort of knowing my surroundings, but I miss how people are there. They act so different here and the way they treat others.. I just don't like it. Just because they are from a different part of the country they are - apparently/according to them- better then me or the others who are from my parts of the country. I wonder why this is? What is it that makes you more intelligent then me? they way you speak, the way you dress? What is it? to me you are not better nor are you less then me. I even wonder why you care about that? It's not like is makes a huge difference in you daily life.

I don't like the way you think of me or the community I come from. I feel that I have to defend who I am and why I believe and act the way I do. so why don't you? Sometimes I feel attacked and all I want to do is to tell you to leave me alone and never open you judgemental mouth to me again. But I don't. All I do is fake a smile and move on with my life. In just a few months I'll be far away form you and then all of you judgemental and rude comments will be gone. You won't see this and that is just fine. I don't want you to.

Love CJ